After a conversation with someone new-ish in my life, I was wrestling with something he shared and frustrated that it was bothering me. It didn’t really have anything to do with my life, but rather choices he was making, so why did I care? Going down the spiral of self-work, I landed on the idea that this could tie back to my childhood, and pinpointed a specific time and experience that my dad could weigh in on. I called him and told him about the conversation that triggered me. I asked if he thought it could go back to this prior dynamic and if that could explain why I was so bothered. All I knew was that I wasn’t feeling as evolved as I thought, because life was presenting an opportunity for me to heal. Striving to look at this from everyone’s perspective, past and present, I wanted to do better and let this go.

I was fully prepared to hear how I could be a bigger person. How this was my own issue. I recounted the conversation and asked my dad: “Why is this bothering me?” To which he surprisingly replied: “Because it’s stupid.” Wait, what? He then explained why the decisions this man was making, and sharing, are stupid. How they will have a negative impact.

There is this downfall when one is always doing self work, that you tend to tie things back to you. And where you are lacking. Where you can improve. A persistent motivation that you can always be better. Do better. This situation made me take a step back and realize there are some things that are stupid in the world. There are bad things and things that warrant an opinion. Even in this situation, I understand the circumstances that propel this man to make the decisions he is making, that is the grace, but I can also internally disagree. And realize it is not 10 year old me trying to have a corrective experience, but grown-up me that operates differently in the world.

Note to Self: if it’s not wound to heal, is it a red flag?

And, it doesn’t really matter. This beautiful thing happens when you see another person as they are, another person. Separate from you. With their own experiences and choices. When this conversation made me question my growth, it felt heavy. When I can see it as a disagreement, it’s a lot lighter. I actually can also witness, without judgment, that I am a little jealous. I might make the choices he is making if I could. Now all of this just feels interesting. And sometimes it really is so simple. Something can be stupid. XO