I was talking with someone who works on our home, and he brought up the idea of Today. When you just meet someone, you are only initially seeing them for who they are today. You don’t see everything that got them to this point, the bad and the good. The sleepless nights, the failed relationships, the missed birthdays, the promotions, the great loves …all of it. This man is the perfect example. He was an engineer, doing big things for our country in other countries. Has had a lifetime of experiences and now loves fixing things in more of a domestic setting, like my home. Everyone has a story and it is a gift when someone will share theirs with you.

This idea, of today, has been percolating in my head, connecting a couple of other dots. In a Huberman podcast, I heard the quote: “All behavior makes sense with enough information.” These two concepts have brought in a third that I heard at church decades ago. The pastor said to imagine placing all of your life experiences in a bag, basically who you are, and then walk up and leave it at the altar. If you then had to pick up someone else’s bag, how would that feel? His message was more eloquent than that, because it has haunted me for years, as I picture clutching my bag.

It’s easy to focus on what is missing, what we wish could be different. Thinking others have it all. But if everything has an associated cost, it’s not possible to have it all. Since life isn’t a movie, like Trading Places, the lesson seems to be to appreciate what you, what I, have and make the most of our individual journeys. Discovering who we are and living with our authenticity. And if envy presents, let it inspire you, and use it positively to make that change in your life.

Note to Self: remember that beautiful quote: The light in you is all I see.

There is such an opportunity of discovery with every encounter. To understand that someone has had a lifetime of highs and lows and unique experiences. Realizing that not only do we not know what someone has been through, but also what they are going through. While we may sometimes think we want to be who someone is today, we don’t want to have experienced all of their yesterdays. And that’s just not possible. And people don’t know everything in my bag. While I may be an open book, I am not an open bag.

Is grace the antidote to judgement? A beautiful relationship involves peeling back the layers. Getting to know another human being, without preconceived notions. One date at a time. But even if all behavior makes sense, with enough information, it doesn’t mean it’s someone meant to take up valuable space in your life. Sometimes that’s hard, to understand why someone is the way they are, but also decide it’s not what’s in your best interest. If they’re not your person though, you are not theirs.

So today, in the most literal sense, is the last day of the year. And as I’m preparing my bag for 2025, I’m taking out what should remain in 2024 because I have grown and evolved. And things, like self-doubt and second guessing, are no longer in style moving forward. Happy New Year. XO