In case you have ever wondered, it is extremely difficult trying to avoid your mailman. Not only is he obviously at my house daily, but throughout my neighborhood 6 days a week. Now, why would anyone ever avoid their mailman? Especially when he is the most lovely man in the world with the face of an angel? A few months ago, we were chatting and he asked me if I was still seeing “that same guy?” I wasn’t sure exactly to whom he was referring, but since I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time, I said no, definitely not.
He starting telling me that for years (years!) he wanted to introduce me to a guy in the neighborhood. He was tempted awhile ago but “you were going to Mexico with that guy.” Omg. I do not remember ever telling him about that but it does track as we are close and I am an open book.
Note to self: remember that saying about keeping things private until they are permanent.
He proceeded to tell me about this handsome doctor (HD) in the neighborhood. With more and more detail, as his enthusiasm grew, I learned about this man, a few blocks away, who sounded incredible. I was game and absolutely love when life feels like a rom-com. And since he has met at least a couple of the guys that I have dated, he was comparing and contrasting them with the handsome doctor. With my blessing, we game planned that he would give HD my number and let him take it from there. Not too long after this conversation, I received a phone call from the potential new guy (love the old school approach!) We talked for an hour or so and then texted and exchanged photos. We were both feeling relief and excitement as our mutual friend had accurately described him to me and me to him. Phew. Game on.
Of course I had quickly shared this set-up and following developments with two of my best girlfriends. They were both more excited than I was, feeling like this could be my big love story. It would definitely be a unique beginning. Do you know anyone else who has been set up like this? The main feeling I had, and have, in these times is curiosity. I know it will happen, but will it be tomorrow? We had a date planned for the next morning, to meet at the end of his block and then walk and grab coffee. I absolutely love ease, in an alignment sense, and this was certainly feeling convenient and ….filled with ease.
I texted him when I got there and then he called, saying he was running late and do I want to just come to his house. Ok. That’s fine. As soon as we met, I knew he wasn’t my guy. And now I was at this house. Shoot. I stayed for an hour or so. Soon after I left, he sent a really nice text saying how much he enjoyed the morning and a follow-up question about a link he had shared the night before. I thanked him for sharing his morning and told him, “I didn’t feel the romantic connection that I am looking for, but always game for friendship.” I received the thumbs-up emoji in return, which I read as a hard pass.
The next day my mailman texted asking what happened. I said there just wasn’t a spark, but we tried. Then, because I felt bad as he had been so excited and invested, (and thought about this for years!), I literally avoided him for months, which as I mentioned is very difficult to do. By the time we did finally talk about his matchmaking, it was a great conversation. He actually said that maybe HD and I will be like those movies where there is a bad date and then years later, they run into each other and the timing is just right. I don’t foresee that happening but have learned not to try to predict. Life has always surprised me and that will likely continue. I love the takeaway from this that you just never know the who, how, and when. And the recovering people-pleaser in me had a good wake up call to have the difficult conversations sooner rather than later, because it was less difficult and more authentic than anything. And authenticity always wins. XO
