Basketball playoffs are in full swing and some of the games have been beyond exciting. The other night had a shocking ending which led me to wonder: Is it better to watch an entire game thinking you’re losing, only to win in the last second? Or watch an entire game thinking you’re winning, only to lose in the last second? So, you’re either stressed for hours only to be excited at the end, or happy for hours, only to be shockingly disappointed at the end. As I pondered this the day after, and of course thinking how it can be analogous to so many things in life, I decided that I typically live in more of an option C. Enjoy the game (of life), detached from the final score, (the outcome), with a peace that it will all be okay in the end. Obviously, I have lost true sports fans at this point, but that’s fine and more me anyway.

To truly enjoy the ride, the game, the day, the experience, it is imperative to be detached from the outcome. It’s a “it doesn’t matter,” way of being but not in a resigned, passive way. In more of a trusting, excited way, knowing there are many outcomes that are positive. Many. And what’s meant to be will be. Years ago, I was at a playoff hockey game. Super exciting but we lost in the last minute. Walking out of the arena, I was talking with the guy who had been behind me, sharing that now it would extend the series and isn’t it really about the journey and not the destination? He asked, “did you just say to enjoy the journey? F*** the journey!” My gf was laughing at the fact I was trying to have a deep-ish conversation with a guy whose team just lost a game. Granted, I didn’t read the room super well but that was a sad perspective to me, to f*** the journey. Sports aside, the how we get there is the majority of our life, rather than the “there.” The evolution of self is the beautiful part because that changes the destination. What I wanted at one point, has changed as I have grown. So in a sense, the “who, what, when, where,” is fluid as we up level.

The saying, “we are spiritual beings having a human experience,” has long been one of my favorites. I recently heard someone talking about Ram Dass, and how he tried all of the plant medicines, did all of the things, only to come back to the realization that rather than escaping from feelings, maybe we are here to experience all of the feelings. The joy, the sadness, the wins, the losses. We are here to have the human experience. I like this perspective because that is life. And speaking of perspective, that is where the power lies. You have one. I have one. And there are an infinite number. We get to choose how to see things. That is powerful. If a relationship ending feels devastating, feel it, as long as you need to. And then trust that the right things happen, and the wrong doors close so the right doors can open.

Note to self: remember that great quote: “I choose to see this differently.”

So in this game of life, which trophy will it be? A participation trophy or a championship trophy? Maybe it’s unrealistic to play every day like it’s game 7 of the playoffs. But every day can be played with appreciation and energy. Off the bench. And since we are all playing different games, with different rules, different training, and different advantages, why would we ever compare? Or let the losses slow us down. They only make the victories sweeter. XO