This is a cautionary tale as this week has not gone as planned, and all because I have been in the market for a new face serum. Something hydrating that would combat dryness and leave a glow. It’s like I have the thought, and then the reels present themselves. I understand when the algorithm is tied to my searches, but when it seems tied to my thoughts, it’s really crazy. And hopefully just a coincidence. Anyway, I watched this reel where someone around my age was talking about her beauty favorites. She was funny, had great skin, and wasn’t getting paid by these companies. I took two screenshots and checked the products out on Amazon. Was that the first mistake? I, like most people I know, buy a lot from there, but have started to wonder about the authenticity of some beauty products. The highly touted serum was an inexpensive dupe of a product I have purchased before. Designer handbag dupes? No thanks, been there and tried that long ago. Only to wonder: who am I fooling? If I know it’s fake, that doesn’t feel amazing. Funny side note, in my 20s I had purchased a “Prada” on Canal Street in NYC. To me, it seemed real, and always the optimist, I secretly wondered if I had scored a real Prada in the sea of fakes. I used it a lot those days, and remember walking through the mall to interview at Neiman Marcus when the strap broke, along with my dream that it was genuine Prada. I had to carry it under my arm to my interview, but since I landed the job, I then went down a long expensive road of buying all the designer handbags. So many bags. So much credit card debt.

Note to self: buy it for you, not for anyone else.

But beauty dupes? Maybe, who knows. Are they the same chemicals just packaged differently? My new products arrived the next day and I tried them that evening getting ready to go to dinner. I thought I was in love. My makeup looked perfect and I thought this is my new rockstar combination. Next day, used them again. As the day went on, I noticed my eyes were looking sunken and my skin was not looking healthy. It reminded me of a few spring breaks ago when I purchased a new foundation in duty free over a long layover. It took days to tie the eye problems I was having to it, but I finally did, quit using it, and returned to normal soon after. This felt more severe though and I started to notice hives. I washed my face and took a Benadryl, optimistic that I would wake up and it would be gone. Nope. When I woke up, my eyes were so swollen I could hardly see. I was in panic mode because I had one on camera meeting and an in-person training I needed to not look like this for. Thank goodness for virtual urgent care visits. The doctor immediately tied this to my new products (one might be innocent) and prescribed a steroid. I had to go off camera for my meeting and log in remote (also off camera) for my training. Not ideal, but there was no other option. One of my colleagues FaceTimed me when I told her what happened, and she agreed that I could not be seen in public. This wasn’t me being dramatic. This was a severe reaction with a full swollen distorted face. All because of some new products.

So where did this go wrong? My gf who called me uses this exact serum. But she doesn’t buy it on Amazon, and she obviously has different skin. And the face cream was not inexpensive and could be amazing for me, but I’ll likely never know. As I used these two products together, they are both being blamed as it’s not worth trying one again. This got me thinking about how we are all made differently and have different reactions to the same thing. There is something and someone for each of us. Or more than just one, but you know what I mean. In dating, to know someone is not your person is not typically as sudden. It takes more time and isn’t a full face of hives. But maybe the glitch I refer to is like hives on your heart. Something doesn’t feel right, it’s just not obvious. But it actually can come on quickly, so maybe is like the face serum. I recently dated someone and ended it suddenly, which surprised both of us. But as soon as I knew, I couldn’t pretend. Past experiences definitely aided this decision. Times when I stayed longer, wishing and hoping I could feel what I once felt. So that’s growth. And I knew it was right to end this one, because I immediately felt lighter. And he is definitely the right fit for someone else, who won’t get hives on their heart.

As I type this, alternating with frozen green tea bags on my eyes, I wonder what the big takeaway is. Surface level, I am not made for inexpensive products that typically have too many chemicals. But I think it’s deeper than that. Yesterday, I said to my gf, “maybe this happened because I wasn’t meant to drive to that training.” It was so windy where I was headed, that the highway was shut down in both directions. I have driven in those conditions and it’s so scary. My gf replied, “you always look for the reason.” She’s right. I do. Maybe the drive was the reason. Or maybe it was just a one-off and there is no larger game at play. I tried products and had a reaction. Maybe. But that doesn’t land. I think there is always more than we see. But now that the drive is past, I am ready to get back to normal. I have a full weekend ahead. XO