Sometimes when I’m shopping online, I’ll hear a voice that says: “you have everything you need.” That voice is likely the part of me that pays my credit card, but sometimes it feels really good to shut down the website and shop in my closet instead. Everything in there is something I had to have at one point. Just the right piece that would complete the outfit I envisioned. Some items have yet to be worn. My mom told me once, “you’ll always see stuff you want.” That simple statement stuck, and has saved me money, with the mindset that this item isn’t the final thing, so do I really need it. If not this, maybe something better down the road. This got me thinking that so much of what I, what we, seek externally is already available internally. Often the answer is truly inside us. And possibly in our closets.

Exhibit A: Humming can help clear your sinuses. I saw that on a reel, and then dove deep into the research. There is legit science behind it. It’s a strong hum, for maybe two minutes, and it increases the nitric oxide. As someone who has had stuffy sinuses, I wondered how I had never heard about this. I am here to tell you that it really works. My breathing is forever changed and my nose is no longer swollen and stuffy. This has always been available. I just didn’t know.

And then there’s Breathwork. Breathing. I am a couple layers into it, meaning I practice daily, and know some different techniques, but have yet to venture into holotropic Breathwork, which sounds intriguing. But breathing…breathing has so many health benefits. Regulating your nervous system for a start. And so much more. This is something we are born with and the last thing to go. Yet, it is so easy to go through the day likely shallow breathing or worse, holding your breath without even realizing it. It’s like we need an owner’s manual for our bodies and life.

Something else that our lives come with, but we maybe forget to use…quiet. There are so many benefits to sitting in the silence. Being present with our thoughts. Not distracting. Not numbing. This can tie into meditation of course. Although I tend to use guided meditations. But quiet. Taking a walk without music, the phone, or podcasts. Have you done it? This is asked without judgment as my answer is no. Or rather, not for a long time. But I will try it. It is supposed to be so grounding.

And then there is the concept of time. One of my favorite ideas is that you don’t have clarity until you’re meant to have clarity. Life needs to unfold naturally. Can’t rush that process. That being said, I am the first to start dating someone right away after a break up. That has always helped because I don’t date just anyone. Typically, the next guy picks up where the last guy fell short. I don’t know that it’s the healthiest approach, and often I soon realize that I need to heal solo. Process what happened and see where I can do better. And see where I took a few attributes and extrapolated them into the mirage of what I wanted. Of course hindsight is 20/20, but maybe allowing more time would give greater clarity, and stave off future disappointment. Hold space.

And what about love? Love is inside all of us. And no, I am not going to say I’m my own soul mate and that I don’t want love from another. Of course I do. We are built for connection and I absolutely love being in a healthy relationship. For so many years though, I pedestalized romantic love over other love. Definitely over self-love. It really is true that the more you love yourself, the more others give you a deserving love. You can never run out of love. When you don’t treat yourself amazingly, you give others the permission to do the same. Byeeee to those days of lowered standards. Love yourself. Love others. And the rest will follow. And like a great song asks, “when is love ever a waste of time?”

There are times when you need more. Maybe the humming won’t help clear your sinuses, although I and the instagrammers think it might. Maybe regulating your nervous system isn’t achieved by breathing because things are just too intense. Maybe music is more calming than the quiet. And maybe, just maybe, I don’t have the perfect dress already in my closet. But I will say strengthening what we naturally come with is a game changer. In the past year, I have prioritized self-care, and it has greatly strengthened my foundation. Physically and emotionally. Some of it is with those innate gifts like the breathing and humming, and some is with more external gifts, like my sauna blanket and red light masks. A lot of stuff doesn’t hit as hard. It’s easier to bounce back from disappointment. And self-care, which is in tandem with self-love, becomes addictive. In a good way. Addicted to feeling better. Feeling stronger. Feeling more present. Here’s to trying the things and shopping in our closets. XO